


Sex, Relationships & Love

by Yesimawriter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Banter, Enemies to Lovers, H/D Sex Fair 2020, Internal Monologue, Light-Hearted, M/M, Oblivious, POV Draco Malfoy, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Pining, Post-Hogwarts, Relationship Talks, Sarcastic Harry Potter, Sex Advice Columnist Draco Malfoy, Sex Guru Draco Malfoy, Sex Talk, Sexual Tension, Sexuality, Snarky Draco Malfoy, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:34:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26664496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yesimawriter/pseuds/Yesimawriter
Summary: Draco Malfoy runs an anonymous sex advice column in the Witch Weekly magazine and gets hundreds of letters asking him for advice on sex, love and relationships. How was he to know that the advice he had given in response to one of those letters would result in Harry Potter showing up at his flat at 6 in the morning?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 48
Kudos: 341
Collections: 2020 Harry/Draco Sex Fair





	Sex, Relationships & Love

**Author's Note:**

> For Prompt [#4](https://docs.google.com/document/d/12_5f6f0xUXhqtWfMlhXRyA8kDC3KGShN3oa_IOD12DY/edit#).
> 
> I would like to thank my beta-reader LOY for the lovely advice and help that she gave me for this fic. I wanted to make this a fic that would be a fun and enjoyable read. So I hope it shows.

Dear Sex Guru,

“My boyfriend (23) and I (22) have been in a relationship for five years and although our relationship has been absolutely perfect in every way, the sex hasn’t. For me, it is truly enjoyable, but my bf seems unsatisfied, as if he is doing it as a chore rather than for enjoyment. I don’t even think he likes it. And it’s not as if he doesn’t want to have sex, he does, but whenever I try to talk to him about having sex with me, he tries to avoid my questions or runs away from them. I’m becoming extremely concerned about him, about us and our relationship. Will we ever be able to enjoy having sex? Will I always have to worry about whether he will enjoy having sex with me? Please help me!”

Sincerely,

A girlfriend who’s not getting fucked enough.

Dear Girlfriend-Who’s-Not-Getting-Fucked-Enough,

“Have you tried spicing up your love life by, say, using sex toys or roleplaying, or anything of the sort? He might be into some weird, kinky sex you might not be aware of. Perhaps he doesn’t want to scare you with his 50-shades-of-grey side (Have you checked if your house has a red room? Or the basement, perhaps? Tell me what you find there). You say that your boyfriend wants to have sex, try to find out what kind of porn he watches to satisfy himself. Find out whose image pops into his head when he masturbates, who he imagines fucking or getting railed by, what sort of features do they have? Are the features similar to yours? Do they look just like you? Is it you he imagines he’s having sex with? If not, then break up with him because that means that it’s not you, GWNGFE, it’s _him_. You’re just not his type.”

Your Sincere Advisor,

The Sex Guru

* * *

Draco sent the letter to the _Witch Weekly_ magazine. It was a bit harsh, his advice about breaking up with the boyfriend, but it had to be given. If her boyfriend loved her and he wanted to have sex, but he didn’t like having sex with her, then their relationship clearly wasn’t as perfect as the girlfriend was making it out to be. And the girlfriend clearly wanted to have sex with him and was concerned about why it wasn’t doing anything for her boyfriend.

It seemed like an important part of their relationship, which Draco agreed it should be, and it mattered to her (which it should) so if the boyfriend wasn’t sexually attracted to her, then the only solution was for them to break up. Another option was that they were not sexually compatible but that did not seem to be the case here, and even if it had been, he would still have suggested a breakup. Draco could think of no way around it. A breakup was inevitable sooner or later for the couple.

So, Draco expected a backlash on his advice when it appeared on his column for the magazine, what he did _not_ expect was Harry fucking Potter ringing his doorbell the day after. At 6 in the morning. Draco went to sleep at 6am sometimes. He opened the door, completely ready to say, _‘what the fuck, Potter?’_

But Potter spoke before Draco could. “What the fuck, Malfoy? It’s you? Of course, it’s you!”

Draco blinked at Potter’s rage, his hair falling into his eyes. He had the worst case of bed hair this morning, and of course Potter had to show up on _this_ morning and no other. How convenient.

“You’re always more than ready to ruin my life, even when you’re not a part of it anymore. I haven’t seen you in a couple of years. Where the fuck have you been? You look like a mess by the way.” Potter continued, barging into Draco’s house, and pushing past him like the impolite prat he always had been.

“Potter, you cannot just show up to wake me up at _six in the morning_ , enter my house uninvited, and expect me to obediently answer your questions. Get out _right now_!” Draco crossed his arms, glaring daggers at Potter.

“Well, I figured I could at least ruin your beauty sleep and morning routine after you completely ruined my life,” Potter responded, glaring just as harshly at Draco.

Potter was standing next to Draco’s sofa, in a pose similar to Draco’s, with his arms crossed.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about, Potter. You will have to elaborate,” Draco drawled, attempting to walk away from Potter so he could resurrect his dying hair.

“Ginny broke up with me because of advice _you_ gave her,” Potter said, grabbing a hold of Draco’s arm and making him freeze.

“That is ridiculous, Potter. I haven’t seen She-Weasley since the war,” Draco scoffed. Potter’s hand still held his arm.

“I meant the advice you gave her on your sex guru column, on _Witch Weekly_. She actually took that advice and broke up with me!” Potter almost shouted in Draco’s ear.

Draco gaped at Potter like a fish who had jumped out of water. “That was _you_?” Draco could never have imagined, for the life of him, that it could be Potter. Not War-hero Potter, not body-that’s-just-begging-to-be-fucked Potter, not green-eyes-that-follow-you-everywhere Potter, not the-way-he-licks-his lips-when-he-looks-at-you-is-so-hot Potter. Not this man standing in front of him. He could _not_ be the reason She-Weasley was not getting fucked enough, could he?

Potter flushed slowly, and Draco realised he had been staring at Potter with something akin to disbelief in his eyes. Draco did feel a slight hint of disappointment since the breakup meant that Potter did not, in fact, have a red room or a basement with freaky toys in it. Did that mean that She-Weasley’s face and body was not what Potter imagined when he masturbated? Who did he imagine he was having sex with then?

“You have to tell her that you were wrong. This is stupid,” Potter stated as he sat down on Draco’s sofa. “This entire thing was so stupid. Why did she have to ask a fucking s _ex column_ for advice?”

Draco scoffed. “That’s because I wasn’t wrong, Potter. Why were you with her for so long if you weren’t even attracted to her? The advice I gave She-Weasley wasn’t wrong, and she most certainly wasn’t wrong in taking that advice. _You’re_ the only stupid one here, Potter.”

Potter glared at Draco. Draco could see his jaw twitching, and Potter’s hand looked like it was itching to just grab his wand and throw a hex at Draco. “I love Ginny. I care for her, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. The sex doesn’t _have_ to be good. It’s… bearable. That’s enough.”

Potter cringed even as he talked about it, almost as if he were imagining or remembering having sex with Ginny. To Potter’s credit, he did try to hide it, the cringing motion, but Draco knew him too well. There were some things that never changed about Potter.

“Are you out of your mind, Potter?!” Draco raised his eyebrows at Potter. “Sex is supposed to be the _best_ part about a relationship. It’s the most important part of it. It isn’t just supposed to be bearable; it’s supposed to be—” Draco couldn’t describe the feeling with those green eyes boring into him.

He had spent too many dark nights imagining those eyes watching him as those hands _did things_ to him, as those teeth bit into Draco’s skin and that tongue licked a trail down Draco’s body. The things Draco had imagined doing to Potter, had imagined Potter doing to him had been too many to count and too embarrassing to speak of.

Draco swallowed his words and cleared his throat. “You should be with someone who makes your heart pound and _ache_ and fill with lust when you so much as think about them. You should be overwhelmed with the _want_ and the _need_ to fuck them against the closest surface whenever they are near you. When they speak, you shouldn’t be able to take your eyes off their lips, and when they touch you—”

With every sentence he had spoken, Draco had taken a step towards Potter, until Potter had stood up at the last sentence, making Draco realise that they were barely standing a few inches apart. He had subconsciously reached out to touch Potter, right in the middle of his chest as he had said, ‘ _when they touch you’_.

Potter interrupted Draco with a soft, “ _Malfoy._ ” His eyes burned with undecipherable emotions that had Draco swallowing again. He saw Potter’s eyes flitting up from his lips to meet his eyes. Neither of them breathed for a few moments. Then Potter stepped back as he cleared his throat and Draco immediately dropped his hand, stepping back himself.

“I should go,” Potter said, and Draco didn’t speak, he just nodded his head. “I— umm— I’ll see you around.” Turning around to face the door, Potter rubbed the back of his head, hesitating for only a second before walking towards it.

“Potter!” Draco quickly called out. Potter turned back sharply. “You asked me where I’ve been. I’ve been right here, Potter. I’ve always been right here.”

“I—” Potter blinked and there was a look so intense in his eyes that it made Draco forget how to breathe. He watched Potter’s facial features soften along with the look. “I know, Malfoy, I know. I’ve always known, and I’ve always noticed you. You _know_ that.”

Potter was out of the door before Draco could remember how to breathe again.

_"What the fuck, Potter?”_

* * *

Draco fisted it through his trousers and closed his eyes, his legs twisting around the thin bed sheets. A soft moan fell from his mouth as he thought of green eyes, a smartass mouth, those soft lips, his scar, and that body. But it was the look that he had given Draco, the intensity and the burn of it, and the way that he had uttered the word _Malfoy_ that made him finish. He arched his back up and groaned “ _Potter_ ” as he came in his trousers.

* * *

_What makes a relationship work? Is it just two people who trust each other and care immeasurably for each other, or is attraction an important aspect of a relationship? Personally, I feel as though attraction towards a significant other is the most essential part of any relationship. How can a relationship between two individuals work without passion between them? I trust my friends and I care for them but that doesn’t mean that I want to be in a relationship with them._

_Companionship is different from a relationship in that you are in love with the person you are in a relationship with and you love your friends. You are not falling for your friends; you fall for the person you are in a relationship with. You lie awake in bed with their face in your mind, smiling like an idiot because of it. You imagine sleeping in bed with them, doing things to them in that very bed. And you cannot stop those thoughts even when you are with them. Of course, every relationship does not need to contain sex for it to be successful._

_If sex is a necessity for one of the partners in the relationship, but not for the other, if the sex is unenjoyable or unsatisfactory for them, then the entire relationship is bound to fall apart. That is why I advise all of my readers to try this simple test._

_Close your eyes and imagine you’re lying in your bed with someone, or if not bed then a fantasy setting, somewhere you can imagine having sex with them. Imagine that this person is touching you, kissing you, biting you all over. Now tell me, what did this person look like? Was it the face of your partner that you saw? Was the body lying next to you or lying on top of you your partner’s? If it wasn’t then I suppose I don’t need to tell you what that means._

_When I close my eyes, I imagine green eyes staring into mine with an intensity that would have made even Voldemort tremble. I imagine rough, calloused hands that may have fought a war, and dry but soft lips kissing mine. I imagine harsh words and witty remarks as we push and pull each other and the tension between us builds. I imagine teeth lightly biting my neck, and my shoulders as we go down on each other in turns, we push and pull, deeper and harder._

_I imagine how he would feel under my hands, warm and firm, giving. I wonder what kinds of noises he would make when my lips made contact with his skin, how he would moan and groan, and the way he would utter my name ever-so-softly but full of emotions as he came. I let his name fall from my lips in the silence of the night and the isolation of my room when thoughts of him plague me and my need and want for him overwhelms me. I cry out the name of a man whose first name starts with the letter ‘H’ and last name ends with an ‘R’._

* * *

Just as Draco had predicted, his doorbell rang at 6 in the morning again. He had a kettle of tea boiling on the stove and he had been reading his latest piece in the _Witch Weekly_ magazine. He was quite proud of it if he was honest with himself. He had argued with himself for days when the idea for his next topic for the sex advice column had popped into his head. Draco took turns with answering sex-related questions from his fellow readers and choosing a particular sex-related topic to write about in his column.

This week, he had decided to write about sex and relationships. He had meant to keep it strictly professional and anonymous, as it should be. It had been a long time since the war, but Draco still could not be sure about how the Wizarding World would feel asking for sex advice from Draco Malfoy. His write-up for the topic of the week had begun on a fairly neutral note in third person, and had somehow ended up becoming very personal, written in first person narrative.

He had not wanted to reveal his sexual preferences or fantasies on the advice column, but his petty side had won against his common sense. He had wanted to get back at Harry Potter for storming into his flat and disturbing his sleep, during that day and every following night. For reigniting sexual thoughts about him that Draco had believed to be (wrongly) hidden deep in the back of his mind.

Potter deserved Draco’s public acknowledgement for being a git, and what better way to do that than to write about a topic that was sure to rile him up and end it on a note that would guarantee Potter’s arrival at his flat again.

Draco opened the door calmly, with a mug of tea in his hands and offered it to Potter, who looked like he was about to burst into flames of rage. “Ah, Potter. You have arrived just in time. Here’s your tea.”

Potter stared and blinked but took the mug. Draco turned his back to the git and went to grab his own mug from the kitchen. As he settled on the sofa with his mug, he asked Potter. “How is the tea?”

Potter sat next to him, quietly sipping his own tea. “It’s perfect,” he said, and his shoulders relaxed. A peaceful look crossed his face as he gazed off into the distance.

“So, what are you here for Potter? Did you just want a cup of tea or was there something else you needed from me?” Draco questioned, trying to feign innocence in the look he gave Potter.

Potter huffed, blowing at the steam rising from his tea. “I’m here to talk to you about what you wrote in the magazine this week.

Draco sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. He leaned back in his sofa and crossed his legs. “What did I do to ruin your life this time, Potter?”

Potter’s cheeks reddened, and it was a charming look on him. If only Potter wasn’t such an absolute prat and didn’t hate him so much, they would have gotten along just fine. “Well, you didn’t exactly ruin my life this time. I mean— it isn’t—” Draco raised his eyebrows as he took a sip of his tea and Potter’s cheeks darkened. “The person you wrote about in the magazine, the one you said you imagined…imagined…”

“Having sex with,” Draco smoothly completed Potter’s sentence for him.

“Yes, that.” Potter’s entire face was flushed by now. “Who was that person? Because green eyes, having fought a war, making Voldemort tremble and a name starting with an H and a last name ending with R sounds a lot like—”

“Henry Stocker,” Draco cut in. "He’s a clerk at the _Witch Weekly_ magazine and he’s got the brightest green eyes.” Draco tried to hide his face in the mug of tea he was drinking. “You should hear him when he talks and see the way he walks. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen or heard before.”

Draco noticed a frown settle on Potter’s face as he registered Draco’s words, staring down at his own mug of tea with his brows furrowed. “Where does he live?” Potter asked with seriousness.

“Excuse me?”

“What is his address? Don’t worry, I just want to talk to him. That’s all.”

A warm laugh bubbled up in Draco’s throat and fell out from his lips before he could stop it. “You’re ridiculous Potter.”

Potter seemed to smile despite himself. “Why?” His eyes flitted up to Draco’s before looking down again.

“There is no Henry Stocker.” Draco admitted with a grin. He kept his empty mug on the table resting in front of him.

Potter swallowed heavily, still glancing at his mug. “Does that mean…?” He trailed off, and after a second, met Draco’s eyes. He seemed unsure.

Draco cleared his throat as he looked away, hands trembling slightly. “It can mean whatever you want it to mean, Potter.” He quickly stood up, picking up his mug. “Are you done drinking your tea?” he asked, reaching out to take Potter’s mug.

Potter nodded his head, standing up to give Draco his own mug. Draco turned his back to Potter, walking into the kitchen. As he kept their mugs in the sink, his chest rose and fell, rose, and fell. “ _Fuck._ ”

“Malfoy.” Draco startled as he faced Potter, who was leaning against the kitchen counter. Draco stood with his hips pressed against the edge of the sink. “I’m sure you must have been wondering who it is that I imagine, in the darkness of the night and when I’m all alone in my flat, if it isn’t Ginny.”

Draco froze in place and looked into Potter’s eyes. Potter looked right back at him. “I think about grey eyes and pale, blond hair. I imagine kissing sarcastic, pratty mouth that used to run itself in school, and dream about those pale hands, those soft fingers, that— that body.”

Potter shuddered, his eyes sliding lower and lower down Draco’s body until they glanced back into his eyes again. “I wish I could feel that skin beneath my fingers, trace a map on it with my lips. I close my eyes and imagine having that body pinned beneath mine.” Draco’s breath hitched at the look in Potter’s eyes. He was sure his own eyes mirrored that look. “When I come, I call out to a person whose first name starts with the letter D and last name ends with a Y.”

“Isn’t there an Auror named Duncan Keeley in your department?” Draco tried to smirk, but failed, his voice coming out shaky. He wanted too much. Too much from Potter, too much _of_ Potter. He did not want to be too hopeful about Potter wanting the same thing.

Maybe they could start off slow and simple with just the sex. They could think about what came after that, later. After all, Potter still loved Ginny. But was he _in love_ with her? How could Potter know true love when he had never experienced it and had barely even seen it in his lifetime?

That did not matter though, because it was _Draco_ he was attracted to and _Draco_ he imagined having sex with and _Draco_ whose features turned Potter on and made him come.

“You’re unbelievable,” Potter responded with an expression of disbelief crossing his face. The corners of his lips twitched, however.

Draco let out a burst of laugh and pushed himself off of the sink, closing the distance between them. His expressions grew more serious as he neared Potter. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, he was cut off by a kiss from Potter.

All of those late nights spent imagining and dreaming could never have compared to the real thing, to sharing a kiss with Potter. Heat and warmth spread throughout Draco’s body, reaching straight to his private parts, and hardening them. He let out a soft groan as he wrapped his arms around Potter’s waist. He could feel Potter’s hand on his cheek, his other hand resting lightly just above Draco’s hips, fisting his shirt.

Potter moaned at the sensation of their tongues touching, pressing his body completely against Draco’s, even though he was the one pinned against the counter. Draco couldn’t help letting a hand drift into the dark curls of Potter’s hair, letting his other hand rest on exposed skin under the bottom of Potter’s shirt.

As heat coursed through Draco’s entire body, Potter pulled away breathlessly, his eyes opening just a second after Draco’s own. “That was so much better than I’d imagined,” Potter muttered. “Fucking _amazing_.”

“It was,” Draco agreed. “ _Fucking_ amazing.” Neither of them moved. “I wouldn’t be opposed to doing this more often.” Draco added, his words drowned out by the pounding of his heart.

“Do you mean the kissing or the tea drinking or… _just_ the kissing?” Potter asked. His hands slowly crept up beneath Draco’s shirt. How could Potter expect Draco to respond when all he could focus on was the warmth of Potter’s hands and his breath, and the heat of Potter’s body against his?

“Potter, you have no idea about the kinds of things I want to do to you,” Draco drawled as his face neared Potter’s. Now that Potter was single, Draco could not wait to introduce him to the wonders of sex and how it could be enjoyed. He wanted to show Potter the different flavours of its enjoyment.

“Malfoy, _you_ have no idea about the kinds of things _I_ want to do to _you_.” Potter hovered close to Draco’s lips, so fucking close that Draco felt their lips brushing tentatively.

“Well, then why don’t you show me, Potter.” Draco challenged pushing his lips against Potter’s to kiss him fully on the mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is supposed to clearly represent the fact that Harry is not asexual, he wants to have sex, and it is not Ginny and Harry's differing sexual drives that are the problem. It's completely okay for two people to have differing sexual drives, it doesn't mean that they aren't sexually compatible or that sex can't be enjoyable for them. In this fic, the problem is that although Ginny finds Harry incredibly attractive and has sex with him passionately, Harry cannot muster the same feelings because he just doesn't feel the same passion to have sex with her and the reason for that is the simple fact that he isn't attracted to her. Also Draco acknowledges that, and he understands what the problem is, which is why he gives the advice that he does. He is the sex guru, after all. 
> 
> I just had to add this in the notes because I don't mean to offend anyone or cause any misunderstandings.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Please support the author by clicking on the kudos button and leaving a comment below! ♥


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